There are probably scores of copyright laws and Local Authority licensing ordnances which this would break to do so, but [just as a Taps Richard flight of fancy] I’ve always thought that pubs should show television programmes and films during the evening or on a Saturday/Sunday afternoon on those evenings/days when there’s no [credible] sport on.
Before Irena was assistant manager, Joe, her predecessor had the job, and at that time Mondays were always film night. Now, Mondays are quiet enough these days – but in those days they were even quieter and it would often just be Joe, myself and maybe one or two other regulars in, so at around 10pm Joe would just flick through the Sky Movies channel and find something that we all agreed on (which often took some doing) and we’d settle down and watch it.
This went on every Monday night for ages, until Prison Break started and Monday Night stopped being film night and became Prison Break night instead.
Which was great. Everyone was a little bit drunk and we’d all sit around talking and joking about what was going on, how stupid their plans were and speculated on what would happen next week.
It was great, because it would be the same people every week and we’d all look forward to Monday to see what happened next.
And I think that [not necessarily watching a serial in that way – although I do think that would be good] would work brilliantly in Taps. I mean, really, what’s the point of putting sport on just for the sake of it? Nobody wants to watch the replay of Saturday’s match for the fifth time, or Ice Hockey or NASCAR or American college basketball.
It’s just pointless.
So instead how great would it be just to put on some seriously cheesy/classic eighties television like the A Team, Knight Rider, or Magnum PI, or films like Karate Kid, Top Gun and Back to the Future? Everyone would absolutely love it. I guarantee you that there isn’t a bloke alive over the age of 26 or so who could walk out of a pub while Karate Kid was on.
[Put him in a body bag heheheheh…]
And come the climatic tournament itself every single person in the pub would be watching it, cheering and joking and quoting along to the lines.
The same goes for any number of classic eighties films. Put them on in the pub on a weeknight or Saturday afternoon and you’ve got a captive audience for hours.
What right thinking bloke would even dream – or hell – even be physically capable of dragging themselves out of the pub while Rocky was running up a mountain, Maverick communicating while in an inverted 4-G negative dive or Jack Burton [it’s all in the reflexes] was picking up a Chinese girl from the airport?
Honestly, they just couldn’t do it. It’s so hardwired into their cultural DNA that they would literally HAVE to stay until the end of the film.
Now throw alcohol into the mix and you can keep everyone happy for hours on end.
Of course that’s just the best case scenario. Just putting on Eastenders or Corrie or Emmerdale would be a laugh. Everyone would still sit around and laugh at the dialogue and critique the story and make bets on what was going to happen next around. Because even now some of the best parts of watching the football in Taps is half time when we laugh at the foreign adverts.
What I mean then is that the television would function in much the same way as the Crossword does. i.e. just another prop around which an evening is built.
I pity the fool who doesn’t agree with my idea.
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