As I’m sure you’re all more than already well aware, alcohol can cause people to have some very strange dreams, to wit, last night I dreamt that I was at the Royal Wedding (in my capacity as a senior member of Stargate Command), that is William and Katherine’s wedding, and that halfway through the ceremony the news came through, in a flurry of teary whispers, that Princess Anne had unexpectedly died.
So they halted the wedding service, and everyone quickly changed into black mourning clothes, and then, because he and she were great friends from all of her charity work, George (as in George and Finbar, George) got up at the front of Westminster Abbey to do the eulogy in front of all the untold billions watching on television, not to mention the thousands of dignitaries in the Abbey itself.
As he started to eulogise he lit up a cigarette [inhaled and gesticulated widely at the crowd with it] and began [in his mainly indecipherable accent], ‘Not many of you will know this, but Princess Anne was also the Queen of Hawaii…’
I only tell you this because of first the unusual vividness and clarity with which I remember it, and second, what the fuck?
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