My Struggle

No, don’t worry, I haven’t gone all Adolf Hitler on you.

[Although…”Come the rise of Super Taps we will annex G.Matthews and the Funeral Parlour by any means necessary to create greater living space for the people of the Taps Irish Bar! We will cleanse the Taps of all undesirable lesser people. We will not allow them to defile our sacred space with their genetic impurities. We will not let them in! We will put them out! Out! OUT!! Zeig Heil!]

As many of you know, I live afflicted by fear.

The other day I was seeking some advice from my manager with regard to an ongoing issue which I’ve been having with a Director.

Her advice was essentially that, ‘when you’re in the right [which I was] I had to be strong and assertive.’

To which I could only reply, ‘unfortunately I’m weak and fearful so, to be honest, this isn’t particularly useful advice is it.’

Now one of the ways in which my fear manifests itself is in my frankly ludicrous trepidation at asking for leave. Which is to say that I’m generally too afraid to ask for leave, and only ever finally get around to doing so when either Jade, Irena or Casey make me.

This is an ongoing issue and something which I’ve been struggling with for a while now.

Now admittedly this makes no sense. Everyone else in the team asks for leave. In fact I’m the only person with no leave booked for the rest of the year. Not a single solitary half day to my name. Our team leave calendar is stuck up on the wall and it looks like I’ve been really naughty or something and I’m not allowed to go out.

Anyway, I raise this because I’d quite like to take this Friday off as leave, but there’s a meeting on Friday (literally just half an hour or so) that I’ve been asked to go to, and I really want to say no, but, well, I live with fear.

I seek your advice and support, comrades.