Regular V. Random

The eternal question... Well okay, not really, but shhh, don’t tell anybody.

A short time ago, right here in this blog in fact, Richard posted something about a manual for Americans to become a regular in a local pub. Having read through it, most of the observations seem to hit the mark. There were a couple ‘try hard’ suggestions, but all in all, I don’t think most people would argue with the chronology and emphasis of behaviour to undertake.

However, having been a regular in one or two pubs over the years, I have often questioned, along with others no doubt, whether I’d be better off being a random. My usual conclusion is that being a regular has more upsides than downsides, but then I began to question why being a regular would ever have any downsides at all. You’d think a regular would simply be treated with the same politeness and cordiality afforded to any random customer, whilst also experiencing the benefits bestowed on them by virtue of their regulars status. A pub’s answer to the VIP lounge whenever you walk up to the bar. I would think that has been the case in every pub I have ever been considered a regular, except the one I now call my local.

Of course, being a regular isn’t always one way traffic. Like any pub, there are rules to abide by; and regular or not, adhering to these rules is simply something that makes you a normal person. But when you are a regular, there is often, and quite rightly, an expectation that since you have a longer understanding of these rules, that you adhere to them more closely than everyone else. For that understanding and acceptance, as a regular, you also get leeway to act in a certain way. Like a drunken fool... when, for example, it’s your birthday or Spurs have just been thrashed 5-1 by some foreigners masquerading as Mancunians. That’s self evident and quite normal.

What isn’t normal however, is the ostensible application of rules on regulars which only exist to suit the needs and desires of certain people at certain times, depending solely on their mood. That just makes for an annoying pub that less and less people tend to drink in as time goes by.

Anyway, I have been going to a random pub of late to escape the trappings of this ‘regulars’ treatment. Almost like a day off, a treat to myself to experience the delights of being a random. As they say, a change is as good as a holiday. Polite bar staff, pool tables, internet enabled juke box, sky sports... good times.

Alas, upon my last visit, my beer was waiting on the bar, ice cold and glistening, before I could even utter a word.

Oh well, time to find a new (random) pub.