I’ll be honest with you here guys; some of the people who drink in the Taps on a regular basis are Actual Retards.
By which I don’t mean that they’re actually retarded – which would be quite an offensive, and entirely out of character thing for me to say - but that they’re Actual Retards, which in the Taps vernacular is shorthand for anyone who’s a complete bloody idiot.
And there are a few of them about – particularly during the day.
I was sitting in the Steve Perryman suite with Colin on Saturday listening to two of them having an argument about whether or not the members of Boney M spoke English [which they did].
Now one of them is adamant that they didn’t [he was wrong], and the other one adamant that they did – which you would think would be right, except that this brain surgeon has mixed up Boney M with Abba, in his head.
Brain Surgeon 1: Of course Boney M couldn’t speak English [they could].
Brain Surgeon 2: Oh yeah, then how did they write Waterloo?
Brain Surgeon 1 [after several seconds of intense furrowed brow concentration]: Good point.
Actual Retards.
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