Clique

An old friend of mine came to the pub on Saturday (he’s been in a few times since the World Cup, which was his first visit to the Taps), and spent most of the day there.

Now, my mate’s spent more than enough time in pubs over the years to be a pretty fair judge of them, and he observed (apropos of nothing as it happens) that the Taps was really quite a tightly knit pub (which it is) and that because of that it was actually quite cliquey.

My initial reaction was to dismiss that as rot and balderdash (well it wasn’t actually; in fact I’m not entirely sure what rot and balderdash is – but I was quite offended and taken aback by his comments), but you’ve got to be realistic about these things haven’t you, and on reflection there’s probably some truth to what he said.

Now my friend’s a decent and reasonably clever chap who’s spent many years in all kind of pubs, and he noted that every time he came in there was very much a feeling of conversations stopping and of every eye turning to the door to see who the random unwanted guest was. Which he found to be slightly uncomfortable.

And to be fair there probably is some truth to that.

The Taps – for all that it’s supposed to be a bar – is very much a traditional regulars’ pub (at least during the week and Saturday and Sunday day time). Everybody knows everybody. Everybody knows everyone else’s business, and I like to think that  for the most part everybody cares (to greater and lesser extents) about every one else. And while I like to think that as a group of regulars we are welcoming, let’s be honest, we’re not always. In fact it’s rare that we are.

And even when we are, we’re only welcoming on our own terms.   

We’re just not a hugely tolerant lot are we? I mean, I keep banging on about how the pub is a community and how we need to care about one another, but isn’t what I really mean: we’re a community as long as you fit in and we like you.

I mean don’t dare be a bit odd or boring or stupid because then I know that personally I’m not quite so hospitable at all. In fact I’ll say it: I’m just a hypocrite.

The strength of the pub – that social club/living room feeling, is also its weakness: the fact that it is exclusionary and cliquey. People have to work damned hard to be accepted – unless they’re an exceptionally likeable person (which some people in the last year or so have been). Maybe too hard.

So while we’re not what the Australians would call a Fit In or Fuck Off pub there is an element of ‘be interesting or, although we’ll be polite, we’ll mainly ignore you’, which is possibly just as bad.

I suspect that I haven’t been as clear as I possibly could be here. And that’s mainly because I’m not entirely sure what I mean at this point.

Anyway, as always I look forward to your thoughts.