What Is a Regular?

It’s undoubtedly a tautology but the obvious answer to the question of what is a regular is that a regular is somebody who the other regulars consider to be a regular.

So there you are, now you know. Succinct, logical, simple, obvious and completely unhelpful. In other words just a rephrasing of Potter Stewart’s pithy definition of pornography.

So let’s try and be a little more logical about this then shall we. (And bearing in mind that I intend this to be entirely descriptive rather than prescriptive) a regular is (in some combination of the below) someone who:

1. The bar staff know what they drink.

2. The bar staff know their name.

3. The other regulars (defined as those who have met this llisted criteria) know their name [or at least use a common and consistent name for them. – There used to be a bloke who drank in the Taps who was universally known as SteveDave. This was because when he first started to regularly come to the Taps he wouldn’t really talk to anyone. However, he was there often enough to warrant some sort of description and so somebody decided that he looked vaguely like a Dave. For some reason the name stuck and as he underwent the gradual process of becoming a regular everyone just called him Dave. And for whatever reason (and I’ve never really understood this) he answered to it and would even introduce himself as Dave. After a while – once he became a full blown regular – he let it be known that his name wasn’t actually Dave but was Steve, but since Dave had now stuck he was just always called SteveDave from that time onwards. – The point being that people don’t have to know your actual name for you to be a regular].

4. Comes in at least three times a week (and sits wherever they want).

5. Comes in at least once a week, sits at the bar and talks to people.

6. Comes in once a week (mainly without fail) on a particular midweek day/evening for a year.

7. At one point did some or all or most of the above, but now only occasionally (for whatever reason – other than defecting to another local pub) comes in.

8. Just gets involved with the pub.

And the last is the most important. A regular is somebody who is involved in the day to day life of the pub.

As always, guys, I look forward to your thoughts.