Hey, Are You New?

How do you become a regular then? For me, becoming a regular in the Taps was mainly achieved by default, in that my brother, as a founding regular, had started drinking in there pretty much every single day from the day it opened. And because of that I was in fairly frequently to watch the football (the Enfield Arms not having Sky) with him and was just considered a regular because I was immediately introduced to everyone and was just de facto included in the crowd as his brother.

However the process of becoming a regular when you don’t know anyone in the pub is far more problematic.

Now the SIRC published guidance document ‘Passport to the Pub’ describes the process as follows:

How to become a regular

First, choose your pub carefully. If you are here in the tourist season, avoid the obviously tourist-oriented pubs and the larger, more impersonal big-chain pub-restaurants. Instead, search out a smallish, friendly local in a back-street, suburb or village. Make sure that it is a pub full of regulars (see Chapter 3 for tips on identifying regulars). Try a few pubs until you find the one with the warmest welcome and the atmosphere that suits you.

Once you have found the right friendly local, demonstrate loyalty by visiting this pub as often as possible - at least 3 times in a week, preferably including at least one weekday evening and one Sunday lunchtime. Going on weekday evenings will show that you are a serious regular pubgoer, not just a casual Saturday-night-out visitor. The pub is also likely to be less busy on weekday evenings, giving you more opportunities to get to know the publican and bar staff. In many locals, Sunday lunchtime is one of the most popular ‘sessions’ with regulars, when they are at their most genial and relaxed.

At the first opportunity, buy a drink for the publican (or the member of bar staff who serves you), using the "and one for yourself?" formula. Also try to find an early opportunity to make friendly contact with the other regulars. Get involved in the chat at the bar counter, and play your full part in the round-buying ritual. If you must order inappropriate drinks, be prepared to be teased about it, and always observe the customary rules of introduction if you wish to participate in pub-games.

Variations

The precise number of visits required to demonstrate your loyalty will vary from pub to pub. In some very friendly pubs, you may hear the charming old saying "You come here twice, you’re a regular". This is not to be taken literally - no-one expects to enjoy all the privileges of a long-standing, established regular after only two visits, but the sentiment is genuine, and admirable. The publicans who use this phrase tend to be those who pride themselves on learning each new customer’s name and preferred drink in less than two ‘sessions’. Some local pubs may be more insular and wary of strangers, and it may take you a bit longer to gain the confidence of the natives - but achieving this can be an even more rewarding experience.

Now, I think this is actually quite good advice, although it will certainly take you more than two visits to become a regular in any pub (in fact the idea that you can become a regular after two visits is an insult), in fact in the Taps it would probably take at least a month of coming in regularly, sitting at the bar and making an effort to join in conversation here and there (without being too intrusive) to be considered a regular.

I actually vaguely remember when Lee first started to come in semi- regularly and he’d sit at the bar and make an effort to join in every now and then (although not all the time), and I remember thinking, ‘who is this strange bloke’ – and this went on for a couple of months I think, until I came in one day, and for whatever reason he’d got talking to my brother and they’d spent most of an afternoon drinking together, then I got talking to him and from that point onwards he broke into regular society (that is the society of regulars, rather than regular society, which the Taps very much isn’t).

Now I look back on that with some sense of regret because Lee’s obviously a really nice bloke and I feel a bit bad about not making more of an effort when he first starting coming in and sitting at the bar.

Or perhaps that’s part of the process. You have to pay your dues for a while. Prove that you’re serious. Committed to the thing.

When I first started going to the Enfield Arms I’d just go in and sit at the bar and it helped that the regulars and staff were incredibly friendly (far, far more than we are), and that they had a pool table which you could just put a pound down on and play the winner, which meant that you immediately got talking to people.

So what I’m saying is, is that perhaps we should start making more of an effort. Be a bit more welcoming when we see someone come in once or twice. Make up some kind of a rota whereby each week it will be a different person’s responsibility to make contact with any new people who might have started coming in. Because that person sitting at the bar by himself might be Lee, and how would you feel if Lee went to a new pub now and people just ignored (like we – I – admittedly did to begin with) him and wouldn't include him? Exactly, you’d feel terrible.

So how about it.